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All those things they say"You are a fat"
Oh am fat?
Sorry sweetie I can fit in to things you wish you could.
"You dresses like a slut"
Oh I do?
Since when is shorts and a band shirt slutty?
"Your hair looks bad"
Your looks a lot worst then mine.
"Your personality is worse in real life"
Oh is that so?
Am shy and barely talk, I guess that makes me awful.
"Your pitiful because you are annoying and miserable"
Ha I find that funny because that sounds like you, sorry but am not.
"Your a jealous whining dog"
Oh is that right?
I don't really get jealous, and again that sounds like you.
I find this all funny.
You think messing with a girl with low self esteem is fun?
I hope you know am NOTHING like you use to think I am.
Am not even the same as when you knew me.
I have change so much.
She's a depressed drunkDon't drink.
Don't do it.
Don't leave her alone.
She's a depressed drunk.
She'll hurt her self.
She will cut her self if she's alone long enough.
You walked her home and didn't make sure she was a sleep before you walk off?
She's covered in cuts.
Why did you leave her?
All those cuts are deep.
Winter cuttingLong sleeve, jackets, pants and hoodies
I have a reason to wear you now
I won't get weird looks
Because it's cold
I can start again
I can hide it better
A cut high up on my arm
A cut on my legs
Anywhere I can hide it again
Little girlLittle girl
Stop trying to grow up
Your life just started
Be a kid while you can
Try being a kid and not a adult
These walls..........All day
Am locked in this house
I can't take it
I want to get out!
I can't have friends
I can't be my self
I can't have a girlfriend
I can't dress the way I want
I have to clean the house everyday
I have to feed all the pets
I have to do all this stuff
No please let me out!
I want out of these walls!
She looks in the mirror.
All shes see is fat.
She covers the mirror.
She gose out side.
And starts to think.
She think she's fat.
But she underweight.
She can't sees that.
She closes to death.
She dont even know.
Every day she tells lie.
So no one she's that she ill.
Death comes closer everyday.
Don't OD...Why?Am going to OD... Why is everone yelling at me for wanting to OD
Why the hell would you want to OD? thats dangerous
No one would care anyways. I only mess shit up....
It's my fault I mess everything up.
That's why I keep hurting her
That's why my real dad left my mom
Why can't I just take this handful of pills?
Why won't you just let me do that!
Why should I live any longer?!
I only hurt the ones I love!
I only mess up!
I only upset everyone
SO why? Why can't I just take this handful of pills and go to bed and never wake up aging?
I tryI try to be a good friend
I try to be a good kid
I try to be a good girlfriend
I try to be a good student
I try to be a good girl
I try... I really do but I mess up
I mess everything up...
I hurt her
I hurt my family
I hurt my friends...
I can't do this anymore
I don't want to hurt you
I don't want you to hurt
I want want you to leave me
I am sorry... I tried
NumbWhat is this feeling?
I don't understand.
I want to explain
But I don't think I can.
Is it really true?
Am I turning this numb?
It just can't be!
I must feel some!
Why is this happening?
Why can't I feel?
Is this all just a dream
Or is all of this real?
Someone please tell me.
Please help me feel.
I'm so tired of feeling numb.
I just wanna heal.
The pain, the sorrow,
The joy, the tears.
Yes! I want all of them!
Even all the fears!
I'm so wanting,
Longing to feel again.
This curse is so haunting,
It's like a dead end.
So, if I were you,
Be glad you can feel.
Be thankful you're not numb.
At least you are real.
the sum of your partsI can find in many others
The sum of your parts,
They're scattered, disjointed,
Disconnected by miles.
One may have your eyes,
But only with a certain look,
Another the glimmer
Of what could be your smile.
I could try to convince myself
I'd heard something you'd say
From the mouth of another,
But not in your voice.
There are many parts of you
I'd despise in any other,
But you're so much greater
Than the sum of your parts.
Truth isTruth is i'll never think i'm good enough for you.
I'll always think there's someone out there who'd treat you better
Who wouldn't need fixing or protecting
Someone who wasn't such an emotional roller-coaster
And when you meet that person...
You'll realize what i've always known.
And you'll leave me.
stumbling in the darkness.
a cranium swells like a balloon;
Monstrous thoughts scratching
and scouring for an escape.
A tender cheek lands on a cool surface.
the heavy load is unzipped,
right between the two pastures of hair.
inky black drippings spill out,
staining a virgin blanket of papery snow.
to an unheard rhythm,
the inklings lace
together on a grid of blue.
all jumbled and obscure.
a heart accelerates in a bony cave.
finding and ensnaring wounds like criminals.
tearing them away from their shaded sanctuary;
sadness their only ally.
Brought forth and smeared
on the paper in a heap of red.
from a dismal abyss,
an anguished soul once drenched in
loneliness and misery
has been purged;
exiled from its fleshy cave.
for all the world to see.
Gone, Gone, Everything is Gonegone, gone, everything is gone
even the nightmares have left me to go on
slice, slice, everything is silent
even the shadows leave me in the darkness
to fend for myself
done, finished, tired of trying
too hard to find something that will fight to revive me!
too hard to find something that just isn't there!
insult, injury, there is no hope
no one to save me, no way to cope
even my closest friends are now strangers
liar, liar, you promised you'd be there!
but you're just like the rest - pretending you cared!
and, just like the rest, you've left me as well.
Death DealerDeath lingered behind his eyes,
ruthless his lips edged up
in a killers smile,
it was the moment
while his prey
lie blissfully unaware.
a heart beat
was the only sound,
while the shadow
prepared to descend
with the swiftness
of a falcon.
Blood paints the darkness
of the night, not even a scream,
it is true what they say
you can die within your dreams,
for what was he
but a phantom unseen,
a death dealer who will
take flight with your life
while you sleep.
He is gone
even before the very last
breath can be drawn
but he never leaves a doubt
none escapes from his
HUMANWe all have problems, it seems to be
We all want something we cannot see
We all feel like we're failures on the inside
But outwardly you hide it like it's some surprise
We look at the cutters like their a mess
They don't know what they want so we all digress
But a problem is a problem whether big or small
And sometimes it's not even a problem at all
Like the child who is crying over a broken toy
Or the little baby laughing who is filled with joy
The mother who lost her very first child
To the teenager who's careless and runs around wild
The world we live in is a crazy disaster
And we are the ones who is its ringmaster
So to those who destroy is and fill it with hate
Damn them to hell along with their mistakes
To the gays and trans and all in between
To the ones hurting and crying with pleas
Love who you want and never be fake
Don't listen to haters for goodness sake
Don't be too hard on yourself, you'll make mistakes
You'll fall in love and have your heart break
You'll have bad habits
Gender asideI want to find the girl that will be by my side through it all.
I want a boy who will stick it out with me in the hardest times.
I want a girl who will hold me close.
I want a boy who will hug me tightly.
I want a girl that I can call "beautiful" because to me she's just that.
I want a boy that I can call "handsome" because he is to me.
I want a girl who is unique and sticks by me.
I want a boy who's different and dedicated.
But all I really want is someone to love me.
SolaceShe never slept well in the dark,
not without the children of the sun and moon
to guide her weary lids home.
Guided by the aftermath, she was always two steps behind.
What did the world look like to the girl who had been through it all?
Braved the heaviest of storms,
yet skipping over cracks in the pavement.
They said her eyes were the wisps of clouds before the storm.
To him they were reflections of pages overlooked.
She said it was like she lived the life of someone she had never met.
Laid out to dry, yesterdays news.
He knew her as the girl who was built to never collapse.
He wished he was too.
He loved her more than words could say, and yet her pain was such,
that at times, he feared she wouldn’t make it.
But on nights like these, even when it threatened to consume her,
he became convinced that somehow she would.
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